Entertainment World

Five Reasons Bikes Are Better Than Cars

Another reason? Hot women pose for photos like this.

While the majority of the country prepares for winter, we here in Florida are preparing for the best riding season of the year. The temperature is down, reducing the likelihood of spontaneous human combustion at a traffic light. Most of the bugs are bedding down for the winter, which means you can actually complete a ride without burning through a hundred tear-offs. Finally, the snow birds are returning to their winter homes, which adds an element of challenge to your daily ride. Rolling chicane, anyone?
Sure, cars have an advantage over bikes in a lot of areas. Cars keep you dry when it rains, they keep you warm in the cold, they keep you from roasting alive in the summer time, but they also eat a little bit of your soul each and every time you get behind the wheel. Here are five reasons why bikes are better than cars:

I was out for an morning ride last weekend, somewhere north of the speed limit, when a Florida State Trooped stepped out of the shadows, pointed at the car behind me, and waved him down. A second trooper motioned to me to slow down, but didn’t wave me over. It was, perhaps, divine intervention, or karmic payback for some past good deed. More likely it was the fact that a bike has a very small radar profile and a car has a very large one. Whatever the reason, the net result was this: in a car, I’d have been waved to the side of the road while the nice officer wrote me up for fifteen over in a construction zone. On a bike, they waved me off with a clear and understood warning to slow down. Motorcycle FTW.

Used Cadavalier or nearly new SV650S; which would you rather have?

Bikes are amazingly affordable, and even the cheapest bikes accelerate, stop and (generally speaking) turn far better than the ordinary car. It was this very economic justification that got me into bikes in the first place. For the price of a ten year old Plymouth Champ, I bought a low mileage Suzuki GS750, which went like stink, attacked canyons with relative competence and didn’t break the bank on insurance.

Bikes Sip Gas

Okay, not ALL motorcycles sip gas...

You can look at this from two different perspectives: either bikes are good for the planet because they use less gas than cars, or bikes are good for your bank account because they use less gas than a car. My BMW K1200RS gets around 40 MPG without really trying, but it also makes about 130 horsepower at the crank and gets from zero to sixty in less than three seconds. Every time I whack open the throttle, I feel like I’m doing my part to save the spotted owl or the polar bear, and it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Or maybe that’s just the thrill of acceleration.

You’re Part Of The Environment, Not Isolated From It

Ever wonder what a sunset smells like?

When I lived outside of Boulder, Colorado, there was a hill I needed to cross on the ride home. Cool, dense air settled at the foot of the hill, and the air would warm up and dry out as I climbed the hill. After a long day at work, it was one sign that I was close to home, close to cracking a beer and close to calling it a day. You see things on a bike, smell things on a bike and sense things on a bike that you miss entirely in a car. If life is a journey, isn’t it better to take that journey with your eyes open?

Bikes Fit Places Cars Don’t

No matter how tight parking may be for an event, I’ve never had a problem finding a spot to put a bike. I can’t fit more than two cars in my garage, but I can easily fit a bike or two, without significantly impacting usable space. Even better: if traffic is jammed up bumper to bumper, bikes give you the ability to navigate through or around traffic that you just don’t have in a car. I rode to my college graduation, with my roommate on the back of my bike, in a cap and gown. Traffic parted to let me through like I was Moses and they were the Red Sea; in a car, I’d have been just another lemming.
I’m not going to start spouting “cagers suck” rhetoric on you, so don’t worry. I’ve still got as big of a car jones as I’ve ever had, and that’s not going away anytime soon. Cars are necessary, cars are good and cars can be entertaining as well. They’re just not bikes.

Your Car Or Your Girl: Who Really Wins Your Heart?

Women or Cars? How do you choose?

For some people, their lives revolve around their cars. They are obsessed with them, they dwell on them, their friends don’t want to visit them because they know that will be the only topic of conversation.
I call these people amateurs.
They’re not really car guys! They’re just pretenders. You’re not truly able to claim you’re seriously afflicted with the car bug until you’ve slipped to the same depths as yours truly.
That’s right, folks. My car has not only taken over my life, it is dictating my future. My car has final say on whether or not I’m going to be dating a girl. My car could, theoretically, have final say, on which woman will be my wife.
While I’m sure it will break Suzanne’s heart to hear this, I can’t seriously consider a woman as a potential Mrs. Deadlift until I know whether my car will accept her or not. And believe me, that’s no easy feat. If the car doesn’t like her, neither do I, and that decision is final.
Unless the car changes its mind, of course. But that’s not been known to happen so far.
Allow me to explain. I drive an old sports car. It’s touchy, it’s finicky, and it dances on a knife’s edge of performance. When it’s working, it’s fantastic. When it’s not, it is most enthusiastically not. And in the years I’ve owned it, I’ve spent countless hours trying to trace down annoying little problems, only to have them vanish without a trace before I could find the cause.
And I’ve finally realized the true cause. My little sports car is viciously jealous. I picked up a girl for a night out on the town a few months back, and it was clear within minutes that she was not about to be accepted. She commented, the first time she climbed out, that it was a difficult car to get in and out of. “Honestly, I’d rather have a big sport-ute.” When we returned to the car, her side wouldn’t unlock with the remote… and even once I manually unlocked it, she still couldn’t get it open. Her heated seat stopped working, and her window wouldn’t roll down. And yet, once I dropped her off, all those problems went away. That was the point when I first clued in, and it’s demonstrated its displeasure several times since.
I’ve seen personal ads before that read, “Must like cars”. I’m not entirely sure how I’d write one in this case. “Must be liked by small German sports car”? In all honesty, I’m kind of hoping it’ll find her for me.
Hopefully not by running her over.

Funny Isn't It

Mischa Barton Says: “Oops!”

Owen Wilson

Photo credit: WireImage.com

Body Part: Nose

Abnormality: Crooked

Effect: Celebrity writers have often tried to make forced literary hay out of some cosmic correlation between the damaged, warped, off-kilter nature of the characters that Owen Wilson has made himself famous for playing and the damaged, warped, off-kilter nature of his twisted, oft-broken nose, but the cold fact of the matter is that this is just one jacked-up nose.
It's tough to look at the fellow without your eyes being inextricably drawn to the nearly comically deformed schnozz that drunkenly rules over the center of the man's face, but still he regularly appears on lists of Hollywood's most handsome leading men, leading us to believe that there's something about it that sets off his otherwise attractive features in a positive way. And man, is he lucky for that, as the same nose on a less attractive face would surely put a poor fellow in Gollum-like territory.